


Through The Looking Glass, We're Not In Kansas Anymore

by sirius



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 17:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirius/pseuds/sirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was written in 2008 and contains sexual content.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Through The Looking Glass, We're Not In Kansas Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2008 and contains sexual content.

_1\. Hankyung Is Our King_

 

“No, really,” Heechul is saying. “I don't understand the concept. I haven't read the books. This photoshoot is insane. Look at Siwon. He looks insane.”

Kangin is staring at him with furrowed brows. “How is that possible. You're like the one person in the whole world who hasn't read _Harry Potter_.”

“Unlike you, I don't believe in books written for common people-”

“Heechul,” Siwon says, flicking his hair back over his eyes. “Just be quiet and get on with it. Voldemort doesn't whine.”

Heechul studies him. Siwon doesn't flick his hair back. Or stand, hip cocked, looking attractive on purpose. Siwon has been cast as somebody called Cedric and somehow, Heechul kind of wishes he were sleeping with this Cedric. 

“I don't get why I don't get a nice costume, that's all,” he says. “And why _Kangin_ is the hero?”

“I'm a great hero!” Kangin splutters. “I have a big...wand and I'll...defeat you with it!” 

On cue, Kangin flicks his wand and sends it spinning across the floor. 

“Fantastic,” he mutters, as Heechul cracks up laughing. Slightly off-set, Eeteuk twines a strand of his black wig around one finger. 

“At least you're a guy,” Eeteuk says. “I'm a girl, again.”

“It's because you look so good in knee-socks,” Siwon says. There's a long silence. “I'm getting into character!” he splutters. 

“Stop hitting on Eeteuk,” Heechul says, jealously. 

“He's Cho!” Siwon says. “We're having a love affair!”

“No you're not,” Kangin says. “No, you're really, really not.”

“Oh,” Siwon says. “Yeah, Harry likes Cho, too.”

“What kind of name is Cho.” Heechul says. 

“I'll fight you for her,” Kangin says, turning on Siwon. “I swear I will.”

They draw wands, take up increasingly ridiculous positions. In the background, Eeteuk frowns. Heechul stands, hands on hips.

“I'll just fight _myself_ , then, shall I?” he squawks. “Voldemort must be the crappiest villain ever!”

“Expecto motherfucking patronum!” Kangin yells.

 

_2\. Curiouser and Curiouser_

 

Hankyung sometimes wonders what would've happened if he'd turned back when that Super Junior was offered to him. When the blue and the red pills were offered him, nobody mentioned anything about the crazy people he'd have to work with. It was all glory, fame, music, life, stardom – nothing about early morning insanity. Nothing that had warned him: _drink me and you'll feel drunk forever and ever and ever but oh well, life couldn't get better, hey?_

He sits at the table at two in the morning and tries to make sense of the scene. Heechul sits in the centre wearing a gigantic lion hat that looks suspiciously like the one JaeJoong wore in a DBSK album shoot once. He's waving his arms around and singing a drunken song, which Kangin is trying desperately to join in with. Heechul keeps hitting him to make him stop, and Siwon is lying with his face on the table some way off.

“Have some wine,” Heechul says, to Hankyung. 

“There isn't any,” Hankyung says. “You drunk it all.”

“Oh,” Heechul says. “True.” He collapses into laughter.

“It wasn't very nice to offer it,” Sungmin says. He's wearing rabbit ears. It ruins the effect of his consternation. 

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” Heechul explodes. 

“I want to sleep,” Siwon says. “Don't start riddling.”

“I don't know,” Hankyung says. Heechul's Korean is bad at the best of times. Drunken, it's even worse.

“Well, that's no use,” Heechul says. “I'll give you an easier one. If Siwon says ten Hail Marys and Kibum says fifteen, how many Catholics are wearing pink shoes?”

“The dormouse is asleep again,” Sungmin says. 

“The answer is twenty-five,” Hankyung says. 

“Wrong!” Heechul crows. “The answer is 'cheesecake'.”

'This is the stupidest party I've ever been to in all my life,' Hankyung wants to say, but Heechul's face is so vibrant and his eyes so bright that he doesn't, that he can't.

“Oh,” he says. “Of course it is.”

 

_3\. And in the darkness, bind them._

 

“I am not being Legolas,” Eeteuk says. “Legolas is the stupid one.”

“He's very pretty, though,” Kangin tries to console him. “I didn't get Aragorn. We're both gypped.”

“Who did get Aragorn? Oh, do I even need to ask.”

Eeteuk settles down on Kangin's bed, pulls his jumper off. It yanks his shirt up with it and Kangin allows himself a gratuitous gawp before Eeteuk untangles himself.

Settling down on his back, Eeteuk wriggles himself comfortable. “You would have been the best Aragorn,” he says. 

“You could have been Arwen,” Kangin teases. 

“Is she the pretty one?” Eeteuk considers. “With the ears?”

“She's hardcore,” Kangin says. “She has a sword, and saves Frodo from the- what.”

“You're a geek,” Eeteuk smiles. “It's sweet.”

“Okay,” Kangin says, biting his lip. “Then you can be nobody.”

“Don't be like that,” Eeteuk says, grinning. “You have a crush on Arwen. It's cute, really.”

Kangin frowns. “So does Siwon. Nobody mocks him.”

“I will now,” Eeteuk says. “Just to be fair.”

“Good,” Kangin says. Then, “wait, no, hang on. You shouldn't mock anybody!”

“It's cute!” Eeteuk says. 

“She's _hardcore_ ,” Kangin says. “And not at all cute! She's got a sword!”

“Oh, I see,” Eeteuk says, turning over in bed and looking at Kangin with the sort of expression that makes Kangin think he's somehow become doomed. “You like a nice, strong woman in the bedroom?”

“Um,” Kangin says. 

“You like the way she rode her horse and wielded her sword, did you?”

“Er,” Kangin says. “So, um, anyway-”

Before he knows it, Eeteuk's swung a leg over his hip and is looking down at him with the sort of dark eyes he reserves for Henry when he's misbehaving. 

“I, um,” Kangin says. 

“I don't think Aragorn stammers,” Eeteuk says, in a voice that could cut steel.

 

_4\. There's No Place Like Home._

 

In Siwon's sleeping head, the dream makes perfect sense. Eeteuk is the Good Witch, Heechul the Wicked Witch. Sungmin is Dorothy, Eunhyuk is Toto. He's the Wizard, Hankyung the Scarecrow, Kangin the Tin Man. For some reason, Henry is the Cowardly Lion. 

It makes perfect sense.

Only, for some reason, 'Follow The Yellow Brick Road' is sung like 'Follow The Yellow Brick Rokugo, Rokugo, Rokugo-' and in his dream, he has a headache. 

In his dream, they're out on the plains, the Wizard and the Wicked Witch. It might be Siwon's imaginative interpretation of Kansas but honestly, he can't find it in himself to care because there's magic and lights and Heechul breathing hard with corrosive fury. 

“Nobody shall defeat me,” he is shouting, which ordinarily would be hilarious, because Heechul is defeated on a daily basis, only. The way the sound shakes his tiny little body, the way it shakes Siwon up from head to foot, isn't anything to laugh about. 

“Your time is up,” he finds himself saying. “You're not welcome here. It has been foreseen, that-”

“Your powers are nothing,” Heechul says. “You're nothing but a fraud. You pretend to be all-knowing. You pretend to see and know things, beyond the rest of us – but you're not true. You betray their faith. You betray your cause. You're nothing but a fake! And they call _me_ Wicked!”

“As if anybody would believe you,” Siwon says. “My reputation-”

“Built on nothing,” Heechul says. “You are nothing.”

Siwon wakes with cold sweat trickling into his back. Heechul shifts uncomfortably against his chest and he realises that he's clutching his arms. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Sorry.”

“S'okay,” Heechul murmurs. 

He wasn't apologising for holding him too tight.

 

_5\. And Really Bad Eggs._

 

Everybody is happy with the Pirates concept. Siwon gets to be a nobleman, Heechul gets to be a pretty young townswoman. Kangin gets to be an eccentric pirate and Eeteuk gets to be a maligned pirate with the hands of a lobster, and tentacles all over his face. Even Hankyung gets a look in as the attractive young pirate-wannabe. 

Kangin and Eeteuk practice sword-fighting on a small beam for the PV. The background will be super-imposed later on but they have to fight whilst moving so it takes practice. And balance, which isn't Kangin's strong point. Kangin's idly wondering what his strong point is, when Eeteuk taps him on the shoulder with his sword. 

“Concentrate,” he says. “Stop thinking about s-”

“I wasn't,” Kangin retorts. “For once.”

“Oh yeah?” Eeteuk says, grinning. 

“I wasn't! I was thinking about my strong point.”

“What about it,” Eeteuk says. Kangin's better when he's distracted. He worries too much about the task in hand. Sometimes, when he isn't trying so hard he does better. Whilst he's talking, he parries better than he has in the last two hours.

“I don't know what it is,” Kangin says. 

“Ah,” Eeteuk says. “Well, you have to figure it out.”

“That's no good,” Kangin says. “Can't you just tell me?”

“No,” Eeteuk says. “That's cheating.”

 

“Elizabeth,” Siwon is saying. Heechul has his hands on his hips and a frown on his face. “I think that it would be best if we cooled our relationship off considerably, given that you have not deigned to accept my proposal.”

“That's good,” Heechul says. “But you're basically Siwon. Not the character.”

“Elizabeth,” Hankyung says, looking appropriately earnest. “Run away with me! We will sail the open seas and have adventures.”

“That sounds fun,” Heechul says. “And well-acted, also, by the way.”

“I have money,” Siwon says. 

“I have spirit,” Hankyung says. 

“Stability,” Siwon says. 

“ _Sex_ ,” Hankyung says. 

“What in the name of God did China do to you?” Heechul says, turning to Hankyung with a grin. 

“Nothing in the name of God,” Siwon says. “I assure you.”

 

Kangin thinks and thinks and thinks but nothing comes to him. He's good at things like eating and playing video games, but none of it is particularly impressive. He doesn't want to be standing at the pearly gates, arguing that God should let him into Heaven because he can eat four bowls of noodles on the trot. Not that he believes in Heaven, or, well. It's a moot point, but Eeteuk has plenty of strengths: leadership, kindness, consideration, faith in other people. Kangin's good at punching people accidentally and that's about it. 

He goes home depressed, not even caring that he and Eeteuk nailed the take. 

“I'm good at nothing,” he says, later, toothbrush in his mouth. 

Eeteuk looks up from his reading. “Of course you are,” he says. 

“What?” Kangin says. “Apart from accidental violence? And eating?”

Eeteuk just looks him, tilting his head to one side. Kangin throws his toothbrush into the sink, spits out foam and pads over crossly. It's maddening. Completely maddening, and Eeteuk's giving him the annoying face, the face of 'work it out', Kangin hates that face. He lies down, reaches out and grabs Eeteuk's hip, yanking him close. 

“I'm good at nothing,” he reiterates. “Except stupid dancing.”

“Oh, shut up,” Eeteuk says. “There's plenty you're good at.”

“Don't be nice to me,” Kangin says. “I'm depressed.”

“No you're not,” Eeteuk says. 

“I am!” Kangin splutters. “How do you know?”

“You're grinding against my thigh,” Eeteuk says. “And you've got a hard on.”

“Oh,” Kangin says. “God. I even fail at depression. What kind of person can't even be depressed properly?”

“For crying out loud,” Eeteuk says. “Kangin. Stop it. Stop being so silly. There's plenty you can do better than anybody else and it's not manly to go on like this. You're a man, act like one. Alright? You're a big manly man. Manliest man in Korea. Korea's number one manly man.”

“Say 'manly' again,” Kangin says. 

“Manly,” Eeteuk growls. “Manly, manly, manly-”

“Fuck,” Kangin says, rolling over onto him. “I've got to-”

“Please do,” Eeteuk says.

 

The scarecrow, the Wizard and the Wicked Witch of the West all in bed together. It's probably not how L. Frank Baum imagined it, really. Siwon lies back and watches Hankyung because when things don't require words, Hankyung's more confident even than Heechul, certainly more than him. Heechul's eyes are locked onto Siwon as Hankyung sucks him off. He doesn't even blink, though he's fighting the urge to squeeze his eyes up tight. 

“Fuck,” he's saying. “Is this some sort of Chinese thing. Some initiation. You went home and God over there granted you powers of sucking c-”

“Heechul,” Siwon says. “Stop trying to provoke me.”

Heechul just grins, eyes falling closed, only it's a torn sort of grin. “You have no idea,” he says. “How fucking good he is.”

“I do,” Siwon says. 

Heechul's eyes open, then. “You little sly bastard,” he spits.

Hankyung's eyes go from Siwon to Heechul, a little worried.

Siwon just smiles.

Heechul tilts his jaw, defiant. “Fine,” he says. “That's fine. You traitors. You little traitors. Hankyung can fuck me. And you,” he stabs a finger into Siwon's chest. “Can just watch.”

 

Siwon has a lot of restraint. It comes with the territory. Occupational hazard. Only, it's impossible. Impossible to watch Heechul splayed out on his front with his hair in his face and Hankyung, _Hankyung_ , so confident when he doesn't have anything to prove, his forearms shaking and wrapped around Heechul's body. Siwon has thought about how Hankyung would fuck, so many times, so many impossible times and Heechul is, well. Heechul is something else.

When he hits the right spot, Heechul lets out a stuttering cackle. Again, and again, and again. 

“Toto,” Heechul says. “I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.”


End file.
